It wasn't your Do-yers hat i swear

Mr. Lopez (name changed to protect the guilty), I just wanted to apologize to you for giving you such a hard time last night. See, we only were checking out your unattended bike because we didn’t want it to be stolen. And we only chased you down because we wanted to let you know how dangerous it is to leave bikes unattended like that. It wasn’t because of your checkered shorts or your baggy white t-shirt. And of course who could possibly find your Dodgers (pronounced Do-yers by you) hat suspicious. Gang-bangers never wear such things right? Of course the egg was in our eye when you told us that you were partially deaf and thats why you didn’t hear us. How could we have known you had a hearing problem? After all you didn’t have a problem hearing our questions after we had you cuffed. See, we had also noticed that you had left a screwdriver stuck in your rear seat too. You said it was to change your tires. I wish the sheriff hadn’t carted you away so fast because I could have learned a lot about bikes from you. I never knew how to change a bike tire with just a flat head screwdriver. It looks hard. But I bet nothing is hard for you Mr. Lopez, you are truly a mexican-american jack juan of all trades.

Sincerly,

All of us at work