Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Beyonce's Revolutionary Suggestion

In her latest hit song social revolutionary Beyonce Knowles offers a simple but profound suggestion for the young men who are attracted to "All the Single Ladies".  The song tells a story we all experience a couple times a month: having just broken up the young lad sees his ex in a club where she's dropping it as if it we high in temperature.  At the sight of his former lover writhing like a mealworm on a fishing trip, the lad becomes engorged with regret.  What's to be done?!

Here Beyonce offers a revolutionary suggestion.  "If you like it than you shoulda put a ring on it".

Young couples have been taking her suggestion to heart, and now women appear with at clubs with rings on the most attractive appendages.  Sandra J., a frequenter of clubs and avid dancer is a firm believer in Beyonce's suggestion, taking issue with those who believe the ring is in reference to marriage.  These people are trying to"force their conservative religious mindset into a song that is more relevant than any religion", says the wee lass.  "If she were trying to sing about marriage she would have like, mentioned it.  Besides, she says, like 'put a ring on it', not like 'put a ring on her'", quips the Sandra.

Sandra does offer some complaints about the suggestion however.  If a guy likes a leg, putting a ring on it is a rather simple task.  "But it is like REALLY difficult to put a ring on a butt!" she complains.  This difficulty has not stopped young couples from "putting a ring" on the ladies' derrieres, even if they have to rely on tattoos to do it.  Max Rothschild, owner of "The Gothic Circus" tattoo parlor says that ring tattoos on ladies badonkadonks has increased by 670% sing the release of "All the Single Ladies".  "It's not always pleasant, but it pays the bills", quips Max.

Even Jay Z is slowly coming around to the idea. An insider source claims that when the rapper first heard the song he cried out "Zounds!  Why did I choose only a finger!".